the only reason why we need to study real hard in JC is because they are not teaching common sense anymore.

today i nearly laughed my ass off..

at the court, there was this 150cm 15 yrs old ah beng who had a quarrel with an indian player.

then he kept scolding that indian YOU BLACK NIGGA YOU BLACK NIGGA!!!.

i think he mistaken an indian for a nigga..

retaining has suddenly became a possibility.

Scud: The other day, in the park, I was wondering why frisbees look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you
Scud: And then it hit me.

of cos they can get all the girls they want. they get the ugly ones.

my brain is dead.

(Shun Gui ) hey jason! so long never see you! are u still as lame as ever?
(jason ) no, my legs' recovered.

the most puzzling thing about my father is.. he has 4 knee guards. why does he needs so many knee guards? does he have 4 knees?

never bring sunblock for night cycling. its just .. useless.

i have a stupid friend whose cycling sucks. she can only cycle in a straight line. so what happens when she meets a turn? she gets down the bike, turn the bike, get on the bike and then conitnue to cycle.

in my sch , there's this girl who is so fat that when she wears a pinafore, she needs TWO BELTS.

some people have funny names. their names sounds like some kinda food or something. No, im not talking about myself.

your mama's joke:

your mama's ass is so big that when she wants to shit, she needs the Pacific Ocean.

your mama 's boobs are so fake that they dun even bounce.

indonesia's currency is so small that, if they want to do a game show or sth, they can only call it

" WHO WANTS TO BE A TRILLIONAIRE ?"

some lame rythmatic poems: ( not meant to be funny.)

salesman treats you politeLY,
cos they wan your moNEY,
so that they can go home earLY



when going to sch in the morning,
you must believe in FATE,
if not you will be LATE,
and then be DEAD.

The most delicious food stall in my school is the drinks stall. -_-

(yea the food sucks this much)

NYJC should be remaned as NYCC instead.

did you notice? when people take photographs, the girls smile with their mouth open widely, showing their teeth, but the guys smile only, mouth closed.

i wonder why.

nowadays the youngsters are getting cooler and more handsome/ pretty. All of them. why is this so? cos they have their hair and fringes covering the whole of face, so you cant see their s-face and thats why.

at Teenage Icon 2005..

(MC) hi Sir ! whats your name?
(faliz) faliz.

(MC) What do you do?
(faliz) work.

(MC) I mean what do you work as?
(faliz) I dun work.

wtf.... it happened today. lol i saw it.

humans are born competitive and they die competitive too.

when human are in the kiddy stage, they will often compete to see who can run faster,
when they reach the age of 13, they will compare their PSLE with each other,
when they reach 17, they will compare their o level score,
when at 19, they will compare their A level results,
when they reach working stage, they will compare with each other to see who earns more,
when they reach the adult stage, they will compete to see how many steads they had before marrying their wife,
when they reach 50 yrs old, they will compare to see who have more children and grand childrens,
when they reach 70 yrs old, they will compete with each other in chinese chess at the void deck,
when they reach 85 yrs old, they will compare to see who has more wisdom,
when they are at death bed, they will still be competing, to see who can hold their last breath for a longer time,
finally after their death, they will compare with each other to see who lived the longest.

near my house, there's this shop whose closing sale lasted ONE YEAR.

Mark Lee used this, but to no avail.

argg cant think of anything these few days.

nowadays the maths is getting rubbisher and rubbisher. everything is about alphabets and symbols. cant even find a damm number in any of the maths.

the only reason im using a blog to post all these things is cos i dunno HTML.

in an IRC chat room...


Me: ... . ... . ....... . . ... .. ......... ..... .. ...... .. .
... . ........ . .... ....... . ... .. ......
Peter: ????
ME: i'm talking to my blind friend.

SuperCoW : i once questioned a turtle about advanced trigonometry
SuperCoW : but after a while i found out it was only a rock
eightyapes : idiot
SuperCoW : but... it was all mossy n stuff so it looked like a turtle
eightyapes : i dont think u get my point

as long as their nail polish is drying, women are practically defenseless.

ME: d-_-b
idiot: how u make that inverted b?
idiot: wait
idiot: never mind

what goes from black to white and to jail?

ans: Michael Jackson.

ME: teacher, when are we going to use all this furthur maths stuffs in real life?

Maths Teacher: when you become a maths teacher.

ME: hey dont worry ok? just tell me all your problems. I will always be here for you. brb.

the computer geeks in my class are so geeky that they say ' byte byte ' when they go offline

At a typical singaporean buffet, those people eat like they are eating their last meal. always.

how to solve singapore's old age problem?

ANS: throw an atomic bomb down on chinatown during a Sunday.

in those charity concert shows, they sure have lots of prizes to give away. like say a condo or cash prizes worth $100000++. so why dun they use that cash to donate to the charity instead?

they say Pokemon is the most popular and longest running show . but i think otherwise.

Power Rangers is THE MOST longest running show ever.

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. ( kinda sad.. )

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.


Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President


"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."

"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous" -unknown


"I'll kill you until you die!!"


Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.


"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

This is the BEST present you can get for JAY CHOW

another kind of retarded people are those who sit beside you during a movie and ask: " OMG!! DID YOU SEE THAT???!? "

yea. i am staring at that 1000 inch screen over there and i cant see anything.

retarded people are those who just arrive at the bus stop, and ask you whether the bus has gone.

if the bus has gone, would i still be here?

u realize being funny is much more difficult than being lame. thats why you see more lamers than jokers around. and thats why you are reading my blog.

those people wearing the bluetooth headset look like some kinda retarded cyborgs.

when eating japanese food, you tend to eat it in small mouthful, bit by bit, and hoping its really delicious, cos its SO OMG **-*/-**!!!@#@%@# expensive.

kids to Neopets is like teenagers to Friendster.

the most hateful thing that can happen to someone is when his phone drops to the ground due to vibration.

my teacher's name is fook khim.

another teacher of mine, his name initials is CCB.

anyone remember the company VIRGIN? they did handphones and softdrinks. TOTALLY NO LINK SEH. and so of cos they are down.

yesterday, on the NEWPAPER, there was the story about Singapore's extremely secret bank. yea. its so secret that everyone in Singapore knows about it now.

WAH!!! u get 11 A ones ah!??? so? still 6 pts rite.

Friend: YOUR BLOG IS SO LAME!!!!!!!!
Me : but its funny rite.

they say everything happens for a reason. but why do we have pimples? there is SIMPLY NO REASON AT all. except to make the people in the beauty line richer?

they always ask me why i listen to japanese songs even though i don't understand a single word. so i ask them, why do you listen to JAy Chou music then?

we pay like few hundred dollars for TV tax and we get gay TV programs such as Hi - 5 ?

whats the point of ironing ? once you sit down, the clothes and pants will be crumpled again.

those noise-cancelling head phones work by blasting the music so DAMM loud that you cant hear anything else.

you know the world is going mad when the tallest player in the NBA is a Chinese, and the best rapper is a white. and the 2 most powerful men in the world are named " Bush " and " Dick " .

ever wondered how those Americans get killed? by vending machines. yes. they rock the thing to get their free drink, and the 1 TON machine falls on them, crushing them to death.


however did they build the rockets?

Why does Fei Yu qing look towards the sky everytime he sings? just what is he looking at?

sometimes you can only say OMFG.

dun think that guys wearing pinafores or skirt is very funny or amazing or astonishing or wadever. just look at the butches.

i had so many things to post yesterday but there was publishing problems with this shit thing and now i forgottten everything. wth

you know how people say that the moon seen from other country is rounder? yea. its like the people complaining that the guys/girls from other schools is always cuter.

people might not realize. but i think friendster and those blog thingy are initiated by governments to increase their survelience. we are being tracked more than ever now. handphones, credit cards, frenster, blog, internet. they know where you are and what you are doing.

with the raise in movie tickets prices, the sales of DVD and VCD will increase. watching a movie nowadys is like buying a VCD, watch it. and then throw it away.

hey faggots, Neopets is NOT considered as an RPG !!

" My uncle is extremely kind- hearted. He donates $300 to charity groups everyweek. but he never wins anything cos his numbers always jump. "

" you are so lousy in basketball that even if you are 4 metres tall, you cant play in the NBA. "

read the msn title. " tired of typing? use handwriten messages instead!!! "
its so damm retarded. using your mouse to write those extremely pixelized letters are 1 trilion times more tiring than typing lor.

I FEEL that taking drugs is illegal..

Nowadays, car engines are so quiet that you will never know there's a car behind you until it knocks you down.

another kind of retared people are those kind who sit beside you during a movie and ask you: " OMG!!?? DID YOU SEE THAT ??? "

yea, my eyes are looking straight at the screen and i dun see anything huh.